Back at One
by tsuyoi-84
Summary: OneShot. My first attempt at a fanfic. It is based on the song Back at One. Kagome is musing about her relationship with Inu Yasha. Character death is involved, but not witnessed.


The words to our song keep running through my head, bouncing around carelessly and not letting me forget. The two of us had a rocky start and an even rockier end. But I remember all we went through, how each move we made helped me to grow; each emotion, the love, the jealousy, the loss, and I can't help but smile. I walk the twisted paths of the forest toward the clearing that held the God Tree and I think of him. He was my jump off point. Truthfully, almost two years after his death I still feel love for him. As the lyrics slide in and out of my brain so do my memories of him.  
  
One, you're like a dream come true . . .  
I have to admit I didn't like him much when we first met, but what do you expect I didn't know him very well either? It took me a long while to actually hold an even halfway intelligent conversation with him. Once we learned to talk to each other, we become fast friends. Despite all the teasing, it took me the shortest time imaginable to develop an amazing crush on him. If he knew about it, he kept it a secret and if he felt the same, he hid that even better. The day he asked me to be his mate I realized one of me dreams could actually come true. Someone who I cared about felt the same for me. I fell in love. The day he left me forever was a day when my world was a little greyer and my dreams were a little sadder.  
  
Two, just want to be with you . . .  
Before our marriage I went out with other people, but he stayed with me. It didn't help that I saw the reminders of him every day. No matter how many boys I tried to have a lasting relationship with, I still wanted to be with him. To be his mate and have him hold me in his arms once more. I guess my innocent hopes could have been called an obsession, but to me it was just an unreachable fantasy. I think he must have ruined my relationships with at least three of the boyfriends I tried to have. Maybe I let him, either way he was the one I wished to have.  
  
Three, boy it's plain to see  
That you're the only one for me . . .  
We had few common interests and we didn't know that much about each other, but being together felt right. I knew he was the one for me. Not because we liked all the same things (we didn't), or because we had the same friends (that was just a perk), but because we were always comfortable with each other. We didn't have long discussions about serious issues, but he could constantly make me laugh when I was sad and I could cry on his shoulder if I needed to. We weren't a typical dream couple, but I could see that he was the only guy that could put up with my idiosyncrasies, and therefore, the only one for me.  
  
Four, repeat steps one through three . . .  
I reach the tree and look up at it. This is where we first met and the place he died. It is another bittersweet reminder of all the trials we went through. I lean up against the solid tree for support and look at the view. It isn't the best in the world. Finally, I take a drink of water and sit at the base of the tree. I look at the view once more then let myself be drawn into song and memories again.  
  
Five, make you fall in love with me . . .  
The hardest part of being with him was Kikyo, that girl just never gave up. And I suffered through a new emotion. I never liked jealousy, I believed it was a wasted emotion, but I all at once knew how it felt. Suddenly I knew the gut wrenching pain that sat in the pit of my stomach and festered. I realized that just to know what jealousy was wasn't enough, to truly understand it, it must be experienced. I became extremely jealous of her and every other girl he even tried to talk to. I didn't want to, but all I could think about was how he could find such vile and uninteresting girls better company then me. I longed for him to see what he was missing and come to me. All I ever got was hearsay and what my friends wanted to make me believe. I was told he liked me back and my wishes were granted. In the end I did get him, but it didn't last as long as I wish it would have.  
  
If ever I believe my work is done  
Then I start back at one . . .  
I started again. Back at step one were we first met. It would take us a while to get to back to where we used to be. The daughter he never really knew and all of our friends who felt like family. At that moment I would be happy just to get to see him once more. Next year would have been our three year anniversary; I still miss him every day. The only difference we would have to face this year was the fact that as friends we cared for each other more and he was gone from our lives forever. I hoped we would overcome the obstacles.  
  
I revive myself by pressing my back against the rough bark of the tree, and open my eyes to the fact that it is getting dark and I still have to walk home. The song disappears with the urgency of the situation, I know what hangs out here at night and how much it would hurt our daughter to have me die in the same way her father did. I pour out the remaining water from my bottle and head back down the path. As I walk I hear me daughter, our daughter calling for me. I look ahead and see her and the sunset. The clouds are turning a shade of red that rivals the red of my mate's haroi with the last rays of sunlight and I realize I lied; the view is perfect. With that thought I continue on my way. As I go, I start humming the first tune that enters my head. I smile to myself as the lyrics to our song, "Back at One" begin cycling through my mind once again. 


End file.
